AVP: Alien vs. Predator

I don’t believe I’m about to do this…

RATING: 5 out of 5

Surprised? So was I. So was I.

When I saw the teaser for AVP: Alien vs. Predator, I giggled with delight. This was a “clash of the titan” kind-of-flick that really caught my attention. Then I saw the first extended trailer and I though “Ummm…okay.” And the closer we got to the release date and the more I saw, I began to think about last summer’s big clash film, Freddy vs. Jason, and when I caught part of it on cable, I was reminded of other “great” clash films like Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla. And then on the Fox channel I was reacquainted with the oh-so-forgettable sequel, Alien: Resurrection. Unlike Alien which went to its dry well, Predator tried a sequel…and outside of a cool “sneak peek” into the Predator’s ship (which, if you look close enough, sports an “Alien” trophy), the sequel was far behind the original. And I also thought about the Matrix sequels and The Bourne Supremacy — good ideas gone horribly, horribly wrong.

But I was cheated out of a real “ripper review” when Evo stole Catwoman from me. So I called up a few of my swordfighter friends (geeks like me, only armed) and we went to go see AVP. They were optimistic. I was anxious, but skeptical…

…and I’m here to take back all that apprehension. What an incredible ride!!!

The date is set in the future…only a few months into the future. October 10, 2004, as a matter of fact. The Weyland Corporation has a satellite looking for oil deposits when it comes across an unexpected heat signature in Antarctica. Weird, huh? Wait — there’s more. The signature is about two thousand feet below the ice. Weirder, huh? Wait…there’s more!

The heat signature two-thousand feet below the ice of Antarctica is coming from a pyramid of Aztec, Cambodian, and Egyptian.

So the CEO of the Weyland Corporation, Charles Bishop Weyland (played by Lance Henriksen…nice touch! More on that later…) gets together a team of explorers, scientists, and military bad asses to check out this incredible archeological find. When they reach the coordinates directly above the pyramid, they find that something has drilled through two thousand feet of ice…in twenty-four hours. The team shimmies down this tunnel and reads along their way up to the pyramid’s main entrance a variety of glyphs, Egyptian, Cambodian, and Aztec, that this place is some kind of…proving ground. The deeper they descend into this ancient labyrinth, the deeper our intrepid heroes step into a situation where they are uninvited, unwelcomed, and unprepared.

I won’t lie to you…AVP starts off like a “fish in a barrel” horror movie. You kind of know it’s going to be a shooting gallery with acid-for-blood aliens and cloaked intergalactic hunters all taking cracks at the stupid humans so they can win the Cupie Doll…but the stupid mistakes these humans make appear stupid to us as we know all the background…we know about the face huggers, we know about the predators’ advanced weapons, and we know both of these races are best left alone and best when light years away from our planet. AVP, however, plays on this and recaptures the tension of the original Alien and Predator, and when these two races square off in their battles, you are treated to the Cameron-esque action of Aliens.

And speaking of the big three — Alien, Aliens, Predator — this is another aspect of AVP that, if you are a fan of them, cannot help but appreciate. First, there’s Lance Henriksen as Charles Bishop Weyland and a moment with a pen that is a delightful nod to Cameron’s sequel. There’s a line near the end of the film the heroine speaks that comes straight from the Book of Schwartzennager (and no, it’s not corny…very appropriate, it is!). Throughout the film are wonderful acknowledgments to the Holy Trinity of SF/Horror, and the moments all work seamlessly into the film.

But director and writer Paul W.S. Anderson isn’t making a film to say “Hey, don’t we remember how incredibly cool these three flicks were?” Anderson wants to tell a good story, and he manages to do so, providing clever twists along the way. Anything I give away here could be a serious spoiler and this roller coaster ride is just too good to ruin. Safe to say, Paul W.S. Anderson manages to make up for the failures of Predator 2, Alien 3, and Alien: Resurrection.

Failures, you ask? Well, think about it: Predator 2 and Alien 3 were somewhat brainless, lacking a great deal in the surprises and trying to be “cutting edge” in the SFX. With Alien: Resurrection, Sigourney Weaver wanted to go into the dangers of cloning. SF with a message. In an Alien film? If I want a social commentary, I’m not going to an Alien film…and Paul W.S. Anderson is of the same mindset. His past films are best known for their eye candy, but with AVP he understood this was a project that has been in the works for over the decade and the expectation level was high. Anderson focused on the story, the lore behind both Alien and Predator, and (of course) the eye candy.

If I were to describe this film in simplest terms: this is the surprise of the summer. With The Chronicles of Riddick being toted as the big summer spectacular (and being anything but…), it is nice to see AVP deliver. This is a movie by a fan, for the fans…and even for people who like their horror with a SF bent. Don’t miss this ride. It’s a film that will be toted as the sequel we should have had years ago…but was well worth the wait.

The tagline for this film is “Whoever wins…We lose.” Take my word for it: In the end, we the moviegoers win and win big time! (I can only hope 20th Century Fox quits while they are ahead…this is the appropriate finale for the Alien/Predator dynasty.)

http://asimplerway.com/tdp/reviews/AVP.m3u