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Anime set in Feudal Japan is either an emotionally stirring, riveting, and beautifully executed, or it’s utter crap. I wish I could say Kai Doh Maru was a gripping tale of lost innocence, coming of age, and destiny realized, but this was such a bore that I can only tell you ?Do not adjust your television?? because the animators meant it to look this way!
RATING: 1 out of 5
I make no bones about my newness to anime. I remember attending a scotch tasting and completely making someone’s brain short circuit when I remarked ?Scotch is like cigars and anime.?
Well, it is! I don’t know everything about anime, but I know what I like. And when I picked up Kai Doh Maru, I really thought I was going to like it. A lot. And when you read the liner notes from the DVD, you’ll understand why I thought I would like it.
This is Kai Doh Maru as described by Manga.com:
FEUDAL JAPAN - The battle for the Capital city of Kyo rages as warring political factions vie for power against hereditary rulers. After the murder of her parents at the hands of her seditious uncle, a young girl named Kintoki flees to the mountains to lead a harsh life; she is renamed Kai Doh Maru by the local villagers. Rescued by Raiko, the Captain of ‘The Four Knights’ - honorable defenders who protect the peace of the city, she is raised within their group as a boy. Living among the Knights, she learns the martial arts and develops into a skillful samurai, becoming a permanent member of their team. Now, as a young woman of seventeen, she begins to discover new feelings of passion and love for Raiko… but she also discovers that these new emotions cause a storm of jealousy and rage in another woman linked to her past.
Sounds cool, huh? Right up my ally? Well, I thought so, too. So with a setting of Heian era (794 to 1192 AD), and its animation team coming from IG Plus/Production IG (the same people behind Ghost in the Shell) I thought this would be a home run (as Japan loves its baseball)!
This was no home run, folks?this was a shut out, and I was on the losing team.
My first warning should have been the liner notes on the back stating that Kai Doh Maru ?explores new and uncharted dimensions of anime, showcasing a unique colorization?. Oh, it’s unique alright. The only way I can describe this ?unique colorization? is to pop in any other anime DVD you have in your collection and then slap a sheet of wax paper over your TV or monitor. About fifteen minutes in, I was wondering if there was something wrong with my laptop monitor. Then I popped in The Animatrix and realized it was an intentional choice from the production team?a bad production choice. The liner notes also promises Kai Doh Maru provides ?explosive action intertwined with a complex human drama are both brought to life in this atypical story of love, honor, jealousy and betrayal?and featuring fully digital animation with elaborately drawn 3D backgrounds?. If only I could have seen the ?explosive action intertwined with human drama yadda-yadda-yadda?? I might have loved Kai Doh Maru.
Still, I was willing to get past this unique colorization distraction and get lost in the ?explosive action intertwined with a complex human drama are both brought to life in this atypical story of love, honor, jealousy and betrayal, featuring fully digital animation with elaborately drawn 3D backgrounds?, but I soon discovered that what the liner notes summed up was, in fact, the first ten minutes. The rest of the film (And since when is a feature 45 minutes long?! I don’t EVER want hear someone bitch and moan about the cost of Dragon Moon’s trade paperbacks as this DVD is sold at the same price as two-hour and four episode-long animes!) just kind of meanders on with soldiers talking about a brewing civil war (or something like that), rebels pledged in mending a severed bloodline (or something like that) and a dark sorceress that can make people melt (or something like that). Maybe I shouldn’t say Kai Doh Maru is completely forgettable (or something like that?). I know what is isn’t and it isn’t what its liner notes claim it to be.
Kai Doh Maru also sports some of the most aimless, pointless, and bombastic writing I’ve ever seen in an anime, but with the stilted dialogue and pensive expressions of its cast you would think they were performing Shakespearean Kabuki. It’s so awful as an anime that I would go so far as to say the acting in it is horrible, and as the directors and artists have complete control over their characters, that is saying something. There is no comic relief, and this ?45 minute epic? desperately needed it. I suppose I should be thankful that Kai Doh Maru is only 45 minutes.
Then I think about how much I paid for the DVD and get upset all over again.
As I mentioned before, I don’t consider myself an ?expert? on anime, but I know what I like. Same with cigars and scotch. So as Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex would be an Arturo Fuente Churchill, Kai Doh Maru would be a White Owl.
