by Jonathan Miller, Copyright 2005

I was torn between both sides of the force. I'm a criminal lawyer and I was supposed to wait to meet a client's family who were supposed to finally bring a retainer check that morning. I was also a Star Wars fan, and already had a ticket to the 12:30 showing of Revenge of the Sith on opening day. It was now 11:30 and I worried that perhaps the family had gone to my old Alderaan office by mistake. That office had been ruined by the Death Star. If I didn't get some clients soon, I would probably have to start advertising in the bathrooms at the cantina in Mos Eisely, again.

I waited patiently, but I did not have the patience of even a padawan. I needed the money badly , but then Star Wars is Star Wars and it would never be opening day again.

I checked my watch again. It was getting late. I would have to go if I wanted to see the start of the movie or get a seat in a galaxy that wasn?t far, far away. I compromised. I would take my phone with me. Hopefully they would call and reschedule before the movie started. I didn?t know whether I?d have to keep my phone on in theater. As the Chancellor Palpatine would say, that would be most unnatural.

I shuddered, if my client's family thought I was watching Star Wars instead of thinking about their case, I might as well be back to defending illegal nerf herders back on Tattooine. I could have passed for Chancellor Palpatine's legislative assistant, but after changing in the car, I now wore shorts and a t-shirt with one of the Star Wars ?M? rated computer games. I drove my pre-Millenium Falcon as fast as I could but it was hard to make the Cinema run in less than 12 parsecs, especially when I had to park all the way by the Forest Moon of Endor in what I hoped was not a handicapped spot.

The multiplex had more theaters than the Imperial Senate had delegates. All theaters showed Star Wars. The line of people was long. Would we all fit inside. About half the people were there in costume, although no one looked like Jar Jar Binks. One guy looked exactly like Ewen MacGregor as Obi Wan Kenobi. I remembered that my client, an accused drug trafficker, actually looked a lot like Ewen MacGregor, unfortunately like Ewen as the drug addict in Trainspotting.

As I walked down the long corridor. I scanned the audience. A group of young Jewish boys in skullcaps apparently went to a more orthodox Jedi temple. Finally I got behind a bunch of air men from nearby Kirtland Air Force Base. They were discussed learning to fly, learning to kill from the Star Wars games. I didn't know if that was a good thing. The dark side indeed.

The ushers looked like clones in blue jackets, and they started to seat us. I had a moment of fear. Fear leads to pain. Pain leads to suffering and suffering leads to. . .. What exactly? Do I keep my phone on during the movie?

I looked around, this was a surly lot of fans who took this movie even more seriously than I did. Some of those light sabers looked real and they would not be pleased to hear me trying to earn my living. I sat in the last aisle seat, hoping against hope that no one would notice when the phone rang. I looked at my watch. The show should have started already.

In the seat in front of me, a young man who could pass for either the world largest Ewok or the smallest Wookie, had brought his portable DVD player, and turned it on full blast. He intently watched a previous episode of the trilogy as did the others around them. Suddenly strange electronic sounds came from down below. The entire row of people listened intently. Except they weren't looking at the screen. They were looking at me.

Then I realized that it was my phone. The lights were dimming. I would have to be quick. I picked it up. It was a bad connection as if the person was calling from the depths of the mining colony on Geononis and was out of her calling area. I strained to listen and it was indeed my client's mother. She said she had had a slight delay, and wanted to re-schedule. She was headed out of town and had to do it today.

I did the math in my head regarding previews and movie length. ?How about four o'clock this afternoon?? I said. I hurriedly gave her my address again.

?Could it be earlier?? she said. She sounded worried. Her son was facing prison, not just being stuck in carbonite here.

I remembered when Obi Wan had told a guy in the bar to re-think his life.
?Three forty five,? I said. ?I would have to hurry, but I'd still be able to see Anakin become Darth and miss the credits. ?But four would work better.?

There was silence on the other end. The portable DVD switched to yet another light saber battle. A preview for the movie Madagascar had begun.

?I'll be there at four, the mother said.

I then heard ?Help me Obi-Wan, you're my only hope.?

I thought it was the mother, but it was from the DVD player. No one really wanted to hear the preview for the movie Madagascar, and they didn't care if I talked over it. But there was now growing consternation when Angelina Jolie appeared on the screen with an ad for Mr.and Mrs. Smith. She was Lara Croft after all, and deserved respect from this crowd.

The worlds biggest Ewok turned off his DVD player. I turned my phone off, and would have put it into carbonite casing if I could before some of the Imperial Stormtroopers executed special order six.

I sighed with relief. Hopefully this would all work out.

I saw the movie and liked it even better than I thought. I ran back to my car, then changed back into lawyer clothes in my car. I hoped that the Star Wars t-shirt did not show through my white button down. I made the trip back in eleven parsecs this time.

The mother waited patiently in my office parking lot when I arrived. She looked like she had once been pretty but her life had been ravaged by drugs and disappointments. Well. . .she looked like Carrie Fisher.

We talked inside my office and thankfully she did not notice my Star Wars poster. I sounded like a lawyer again and I was as polite as C-3po. I told her how I would handle her son's case and how he would have my complete attention.

I was glad that the prequels were over, because I did not want to face this dilemma ever again. Obi Wan wouldn't pay my rent after all, this woman would. We had some awkward moments, but she signed a retainer agreement and then paid me in cash. I wouldn't be in Alderaan after all. I had money. As Yoda would say, Benjamin Franklin, Friend I am to.

It had all worked out. After she left, I smiled up at the poster. Obi Wan smiled back.

The force was with me!

Jonathan Miller is a lawyer, writer and science fiction fan in Albuquerque NM. He's the author of Crater County, a supernatural thriller as well as Rattlesnake Lawyer. His website is rattlesnakelawyer.com

(Tee Morris is back with a mega-post...and it's all Evo's fault!)

I know Evo warned us, but I am here to voice my offence at SexyFandom.com. I found myself a bit set off and somewhat rankled by the content found on this website, and all I have to say is ?Shame on you, Evo! How dare you lead me to this blog!?

Oh, hold up?it wasn't the naughty websites you'll find on there. I've got healthy urges and all that. Sure, maybe some of them were a little kooky, but different strokes for diff?uh, I mean, everyone has different tas?dang, um?well, you know what I'm trying to say. The sexier side of fandom wasn't what I question.

If you scroll past the few shout-out's to websites of the erotic, the alternative, and the downright wacky, you will find this post that lambastes and rips a new one to NanoWriMo. Now, if you don't know what it is I'm talking about (or remain "blissfully unaware" as author and blogger Molly Case puts it), NaNoWriMo is an event that encourages its participants to write a novel in the month of November, a novel defined by NaNoWriMo as fifty thousand words. This challenge is based on an honor system; and as Molly does point out, there are going to be people who cheat, use the competition as a badge of honor, and rely on it as a convenient out from social engagements, problems at work, and even soured relationships.

I can empathize with Molly' opinion of people who slap together 50K's worth of words and call themselves novelists. I dealt with this kind of attitude frequently when sharing the stage with actors. I have enjoyed productions with actors who have always kept their feet on the ground and their heads free of their asses. They look at every job as just that: a job. As quick as your cast in one show, you have to be looking ahead to the next. I have also shared the stage with people who believe that the ability to memorize lines, follow blocking, and project their voices to the "Fire Exit" sign in the back of the theatre ascends them to a higher plane where their shit smells like potpourri. These are the actors who babble on and on about "the craft," debate with directors (and writers, in one or two instances I've seen) about the "true intentions" of a character, and lament over the labors of being an artist of the stage.

Well, something I've discovered in my whopping two years as an author: writers are not that different from actors. Quite a few writers I've met believe typing "The End" at the end of a story, several manuscripts in a drawer somewhere, and a few nods from their writing critique groups makes them wiser, smarter, and the next best thing to sliced bread. Sadly, there are some published authors?both big and small press?who think the same thing. And while Molly is correct in that NaNoWriMo brings these cockroaches out from their hiding places to bug us relentlessly for a month, she misses the point (or, in light of people putting words into Ursula K. LeGuin's mouth, what I believe is the point) of this terrific exercise in writing. Simply put: NaNoWriMo serves as a motivator to get you to write. Period. This is where Molly and I disagree, and I respect her opinion, but this is not what I take offense to.

What I object to is Molly's stereotyping of an event and its participants.

In her rant, Molly states the following:

Many of my friends are writers, but it is specifically ones who are not who are giving excuses for messing up at work or forgetting social engagements by mentioning that they are writing in NaNoWriMo. They think writers will be extra-understanding of this. I am using the word friend rather generically here, as the NaNoWriMo acolytes I know are all people I know peripherally. They are trophy wives trying to prove they have a few brain cells now that they are getting older and less pretty. They are unemployed leech boyfriends who need to claim they are doing something besides shooting up and watching cartoons while their girl is at work. I am one of the most easy-going people ever born, but I find the whole National Novel Writing Month phenomenon a mockery of what it means to be a writer.

Perhaps these are the people that Molly knows are participating in NaNoWriMo, and perhaps these trophy wives and leech boyfriends are using this event as some sort of crutch in their lives, but to cast aspersions that NaNoWriMo is "a mockery of what it means to be a writer" and "NaNoWriMo is trying to teach people how to turn a passing interest in writing into a failure." is a bit short-sighted on her part. The people I know who participate in NaNoWriMo are artists, journalists, fans of fiction, and members of writing groups (one of its participants was the regional director for NaNoWriMo the year, and even received support from Barnes & Noble), all who wanted to achieve a personal best. I remember asking one participant of NaNoWriMo "Why do you do this to yourself?", she told me it was because she needed a kick in the ass. When she first did NaNoWriMo, she had just under 40K of words and it was crap. Was she disappointed? Sure. But as she was reviewing her efforts, another idea struck. She started developing it. Now, that idea will be published in 2005.

Now how many success stories comes out of NaNoWriMo? Probably a few, but I have never perceived NaNoWriMo as "writing crap for a month" as Molly puts it, and then adds, "That is just pathetic and the people encouraging this should be embarrassed." According to my friend, the NaNoWriMo regional director, the event is not encouraging you to write crap for a month. It is encouraging you to write, to develop a schedule and a goal, and to get words on paper. And these people are intelligent, rational, and responsible individuals, not the archetypes that Molly paints in her posting.

Yes, Molly was absolutely right that NaNoWriMo shoots themselves in the foot when they describe this event as:

"Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly. Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap."

Not the best way to promote yourself and your goals, but my perception of this event is to get people to take the next step and seriously give writing a shot. I've lost count how many people I've talked to who have said to me "You know, I've got an idea for a book?" or "I've always wanted to write a book?" and I always ask in reply "So, why don't you?" And here are the following reasons I get in reply:

• I don't have the time.
• I'm not sure if the idea would be long enough for a novel.
• I don't know if I can do it.

Well, here comes November and NaNoWriMo that gives you no more reason other than "I'm too lazy to do it." How well you do depends a lot on personal discipline. It also gets the potential writer to sit down and get ideas on paper.

I must be missing from where the venom of Molly's rant originates. What makes her believe that NanoWriMo and its participants. I've never done NaNoWriMo, but I admire what I perceive is its intent. I also respect those who participate (and adhere to its honor code) and find out that they have a novel inside of them. If the result of the NaNoWriMo falls short, then perhaps the novel becomes a short story. And if the result of a month's note taking and word processing yields "total crap," it could spark another idea.

As I mentioned earlier, Molly's opposition to NaNoWriMo is not what I object to. What I object to is her blatant stereotyping of its participants. Perhaps the participants she knows are trophy wives and leech boyfriends, but because they are failures in the event, they do not represent the majority of its participants (or the cross-section of participants I have met at various cons). All actors are not self-absorbed twits, all published authors are not pompous blowhards, and all participants of NaNoWriMo are the slackers that Molly know peripherally.

Molly, being a writer, you should have researched your rant a little deeper than you did. There is a lot more to NaNoWriMo than you depict, and maybe asking a few questions and talking to a few more people would have hipped you on to that. You make some valid points about the challenge, but you completely missed the mark on the people who make it happen and the people who participate in November. Perhaps it is easy for you to dismiss NaNoWriMo, but I think you should take a closer look and step back to take in the bigger picture before passing judgment. Especially before you pass judgment on participants you don't even know. Not even peripherally.

(Well, again...not a guest...just me, the Guest That Wouldn't Go Away...)

Maybe Evo's rant concerning small press covers is one that you would think would rankle my feathers as I am a small press author.

Although he was horribly wrong about the interview with Battlestar Galactica's Richard Hatch (damn, that was fun!), Evo could not be more right about this attitude concerning book covers.

It would be nice to think ?You can't judge a book by its cover?? but that's not the way it is anymore. Appearance is, when you're a new name in the business, about 70% of how you are perceived by the public. Now, some of you may think ?Oh, come on, how can you say that?? but I've lost count how many times I heard people pick up Morevi and tell me ?This doesn't look like a small press book?? or my favorite, ?Who is your publisher? Baen? Tor?? The cover, like it or not, is the first impression. If you don't make a good first impression, you don't make a sale. That is the law of the SF/F jungle.

Covers were an issue with me when I signed on with Dragon Moon, but I saw a ?progress? in the artwork from Daughter of Dragons all the way up to Legends of Serai, their most recent release at that time. I found out that the artist behind Legends was going to be assigned to Morevi. So I was excited, but I was thrilled when the artist asked me ?So, what did you have in mind?? Working with your publisher and artist on the cover (something unheard of when you're a new author with a large press) started off with a lot of promise. I sent him covers I liked and covers I didn't, and he surfed my website for ideas and opinions. Things took a southerly turn when after two months of silence, the promised three preliminaries became a half-completed final with Askana and Rafe fully armed and in Aksana's bedroom. That was going to be my first book's cover.

Now, the artist said he read the book?but on seeing my cover-in-progress, I think he read bits and pieces. To add to this, he completely ignored my ideas and decided to market Morevi as a romance. While there is a romance in my book, it's not a romance. It's an epic adventure. I asked for a revision, but now it was ?too late? to add to, alter, or contribute to the cover all of a sudden. Then came the cherry on top of this disastrous sundae when I was asked to provide my cover artist clip art from my own website.

This quickly-developing horror story had a twist in its ending, however. Another author once told me ?Pick and choose battles carefully with publishers.? I believe that to be true, especially with small presses. The cover was a battle I chose to undertake. A phone call to my publisher, Gwen Gades, was my platform to air my arguments for a different cover. She said ?You're right about the romance, but follow my lead on the cover??, and then she had a ?sit down? with the artist. In a week, I got the wrap-around cover of Morevi.

I'm very happy with my first book cover. Would I have wanted something different? Truthfully, yes. Don't get me wrong now. The cover looks gorgeous. And yes, it looks great on mousepads, mugs, and sweatshirts (all available for sale on CafePress.com?shameless, I know?), but a closer look at Rafe and Askana and you know the book isn't Baen, Tor, or another big press.

Something I have noticed with small press covers is an artist's burning desire to use Poser, Bryce, or some other kind of 3D rendering software. Now I think that kind of software is ?ool?when it comes to buildings or backdrops. People created in Poser look?well, creepy. I have two books on digital art (both by Michael Burns) and a majority of the Poser-esque artwork, when it isn't cityscapes or planetary/galactic environment settings, looks computer generated. These digital models look polished, clean, and perfect. They also appear lifeless. I can usually pick up a book and know it's small press just from the way people look on the cover. With Morevi, Rafe and Askana are not as digital as they could be (which I like) but when you compare my cover to the covers of Julie Czerneda, Walter Hunt, or David B. Coe, the people on the covers look like people. Perhaps it is less expensive to use your Poser models that actually hire, sketch, and then draw a real one?but you get what you pay for.

But I will present myself for even more criticism and say ?Absolutely your books are judged by their covers.? I feel as far as a small press goes, I lucked out. With Dragon Moon, I've had some winner covers. They have make people stop and look?and buy. I have friends with small presses and with big presses, and I'm finding that there are pro's and con's to both, but with big presses you have the prestige and reputation of the press itself, and with that you have an arsenal of artists to pull from. The small press face uphill battles with booksellers and readers, and covers are WMD's in this battle. If you are shopping around with small presses and you ask about covers, look elsewhere if they give you the line ?Well, we don't rely on the cover, but the STORY to sell itself.? This usually means the cover is an afterthought, and that is not the best way to market a book.

Evo mapped it out for everyone in his original post. The cover is the first thing that will or won't sell a book. When you are a new writer, you will want a tight cover that grabs attention, in a good way. Beyond the artwork itself, it would also be a good idea to know something about fonts. My current title, Billibub Baddings and The Case of the Singing Sword uses two on the cover: Adventure and NiteClub. On the back, the blurb is in Garamond. It's a matter of balance. You want to entice your readers, not overwhelm them. Maybe I have an advantage being a graphic artist and web designer on the side, but that is your objective with cover and art: a balance that conveys a message and holds attention.

Does a really kick ass cover and a clean interior mean you have a good book? Well, no. My current read has a gorgeous cover, a beautiful interior layout, and is extremely well-written. But the book itself is absolute and total crap. But here's the kicker ? based on its packaging, I bought the book. The cover caught my eye, the title intrigued me, the jacket blurb got me curious, and now I'm debating about whether or not I will finish this book or just end my misery and move on to another book. But that was what led me to buying this book. I feel suckered, sure?but I give the press props for creating a really beautiful looking book. (Review is on the way?)

Instead of the amount of titles some small presses publish, I really believe the small press industry should think about quality over quantity. Invest in some skilled artists that understand HOW to do a book cover. (There is an approach to that, too.) As for authors, it would be a good idea to pay close attention to SF/F art shows and artists at conventions you attend. Find out who is doing covers for what press, and ask yourself ?Well, if Poser is such a great tool, why aren't artists for Tor, Baen, or Eos using it for their covers?? There's a lot of good and bad with small presses, and I can honestly say I lucked out with Dragon Moon. We're not a big house (yet), but we do have some beautiful books in our catalog. Hopefully, we can only go up from here.

No, I'm not a guest blogger. But this rant got so long I didn't want to take up the whole page...

I'm just going to come right out and say it: the covers of small press books convey "I SUCK INSIDE" in bold print and all caps to anyone who ventures near.

You would think, that with all the hurdles already faced by small presses, they would as least make sure that all of their titles had the very best looking covers possible. The general public makes their decision whether or not to buy a book on three factors:

1. What's inside

2. What's outside
3. Price

Now of course, this assumes all other factors being equal or mitigated. We assume the reader is picking a genre they enjoy and has no presuppositions about the author. They aren't looking for a book they heard about on some radio program or based on a review they read. Nope, we're dealing with someone with a few extra bucks in their pocket looking for a good read but doesn't have a high enough credit score to get a library card.

Small press already has one major strike against them: price. When you produce a limited run of books, it's difficult if not down right impossible to get under the $7.99 price point for paperbacks. Most small press books wind up double that. Ouch. But until the cost of trees comes down or people start buying eBook with abandon, that can't be helped. All the more reason to make your damned title look like it's worth the money.

They also have to deal with new and untested authors often working with inexperienced editors. That negatively impacts the quality of what's inside. And before you get all butt-hurt and blasting me with mail and comments, don't forget that I read almost every small press title that comes into our show. I'm not shooting from the hip, but speaking from practical experience. The odds are that a small press title will not be of the same caliber as one from a large press. No, not always, but most of the time.

Again, with the much smaller revenues generated by small houses, they can't afford to hire high-paid and credentialed editors. There's more control here, but not as much as on price.

Which brings us to the third and final decision factor for most book readers: the cover. Oh. My. Gods. I just walked over to my bookshelf and pulled out seven titles, all paper backs. None have fancy raised lettering or shiny metallic lettering (read: more cost.) Three are small press books and four from various big houses. With the possible exception of one crappy one from a big house, the small press books stand out like Flounder's date Sissy at a frat party; for the opposite reason. They reek of "cheeze".

I've worked with some talented designers in the last five years or so and I've learned a thing or two from them. First, looks do matter, sometimes more than content. Perhaps a more fair way to say that is perceptions of questionable content can be swayed by quality design. Second, good design isn't difficult, it just takes dedication. Fonts and typography should not be used at random. Yes, there is such a thing as complimentary colors. And most importantly, the devil really and truly is in the details.

So I implore you, small press owners, editors and publishers. Spend some time on the cover of a book. Better yet, steal ideas from your big brothers and sisters. Find a cover that jumps off the shelf and use it as your model. Everything should be readable and have purpose on the page. Font selections should be kept to a minimum. White letters on white background or portions of images just don't work without some contrasting borders. Color correction of images isn't a bad thing. Artwork which the kid of the author produced should probably stay on her refrigerator door.

You know, there may be a cottage industry in here for me...

One of the subtle differences between fantasy and science fiction is that of vocabulary, and it's a greater difference than simply the difference between kilometers and leagues, or light years and leagues (a league, by the way, is an old Roman measurement and is the distance covered by 1000 strides, about three miles.)

By their natures, science fiction tends to be more precise while fantasy tends to be more poetic. My prejudice is for the poetry, and fantasy and its vocabulary is, to me, far richer. There are things one can say in a fantasy that would never pass muster in science fiction. A brief example: In my novel, HIGH RAGE, I have Scarface asking Hadrian to procure for him the services of an engraver. Hadrian observes that Scarface has artisans enough around and asks why he needs an engraver.

Scarface replies that he's thinking of going into counterfeiting. Hadrian then asks whose coinage he's thinking of devaluing.

Scarface says, ?The Sazian empire's.? To which Hadrian responds, ?At least you don't lack for ambition. Just remember, tired old lions are still lions.?

This sort of exchange could not occur in most science fiction stories, but is perfectly proper in a fantasy. I suspect science fiction is primarily driven by plot, with character sometimes a strong second, and the way the story is told is less important than the ideas on display. Fantasy, on the other hand, is frequently character-driven and is less an exploration of the outside world or worlds than an internal voyage, and the style is frequently an important element. If you're interested in seeing a wonderful example of the richness possible in fantasy, I recommend John Crowley's superlative, LITTLE, BIG, which is one of the best books I've ever read. His style is so rich that it discourages simply reading. It invites participation and reflection. That makes the book a relatively slow read, but the reward is so much greater than simply racing through a page-turner.

An interesting crossover is Roger Zelazny's LORD OF LIGHT, which is actually a science fiction story using a fantasy vocabulary and the emphasis on character. I believe it was Clarke who noted that if a technology were sufficiently developed, it would resemble fantasy, and Zelazny has developed that idea into a terrific story. In LORD OF LIGHT, the technology exists to create a magical world and Zelazny uses the lens of Hindu mythology to create a story prism that it bright and shining.

Whether you're primarily a reader of fantasy or of science fiction, I think it's always best to understand and appreciate the differences and to have some knowledge of both.

James K. Burk was a recent guest on The Dragon Page. He writes a short stories and novels.