Bear with me, as this is going to take me some time. But unlike many of the books I read, it’s worth it.
Orphanage follows the life of a high school football player juvenile delinquent as he signs up for is forced to choose between the Mobile Infantry or prison. A simple choice for most of us, compounded when the Bugs Slugs have destroyed your family in Buenos Aries Denver by lobbing huge rocks kamikaze guided projectiles from the planet Klandathu Jupiter’s moon Ganymede. He’s got a buddy in Military Intelligence and one that’s a pilot, not to mention a couple of girls he’d like to get in the sack. Through it all, they manage to mount a force and take the battle to the enemy, where thousands of soldiers die because the military is just as fucked up in the future as it is in the present. But our hero survives, though many of his friends do not, to fight the good fight another day.
(Note the lack of strike-through text in those last sentences. Yeah.)
Now to be fair, the book actually comes with a disclaimer on the front cover in the form of a blurb: “Heinlein would have enjoyed this exciting homage to Starship Troopers“– Joe Haldeman
Well you know what, Haldeman? I think you’re right.
So for the moment, forget you ever saw the train wreck that was Starship Troopers the movie, and put down your memories of Starship Troopers the book. I want to review this book on it’s own merits.
The Good
Robert Buettner is a great writer. Seriously. Anyone who can keep me not only interested in a military SF book, but also interested enough to read it in less than THREE DAYS is doing something right. You just don’t want to put the book down. Every chapter is wrapped up nicely in a perfect spot to set the book down and hop off the crapper? but then Buettner writes something like:
Everything was great and wonderful in my life. Nothing could be better than this.
Then the shit hit the fan and I discovered just how wrong I could be.
No, that’s not out of the book, it’s an example. OK, an admittedly pathetic example, but still. I care about his characters, their mission and the fate of humanity as we try and blow the Bugs Slugs to smithereens.
The Bad
While I’m not bitching about the pacing, a whole lot happens in the last 50 pages or so. Yes, I realize it’s a climactic battle scene. I expect a lot to happen. What I didn’t expect was a simple grunt getting promoted to General in less than two days. But then again I don’t know how the Army would react when 90% of its forces and 100% of the staffers were completely annihilated in a single battle.
The Ugly
See all my strike-through texts. It’s hard to judge this book on it’s own merits. But I implore you to try, because it’s really worth it. I can’t stack it up against the book by Heinlein, as I’ve never read it.
[Pause while you pick up your jaws. Sorry?]
There is plenty of originality in this book, trust me. It’s not all spit and polish like the crappy movie and hard SF fans will find absolutely nothing to bitch at. I’m actually looking forward to the sequels. Me. The guy who could give a rats fat one about military SF. Go figure. And then let’s go kill some Bugs Slugs.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Orphanage by Robert Buettner
Publisher : Aspect; First Edition (November 1, 2004)
Paperback : 320 pages
ISBN-10 : 0446614297
ISBN-13 : 978-0446614290
Genre: Military Science Fiction
Author Website: robertbuettner.com
